Stop being treated like the enemy

Aug 18, 2024

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When your clients treat you like a partner, you run better projects, win negotiated work, and have happier people.

We work with contractors all over the country who have the same problem: They want to know how to get their clients to treat them like a partner instead of like an enemy.

At the end of the day, there may not be a more important problem to resolve for your business, because when you get treated like a partner, you run better projects, win negotiated work, and have happier people (because they aren’t fighting all the time).

Let’s talk about how you can easily start getting treated like a partner tomorrow:

  • Know your worth. First, before you can get treated like a partner, you must believe you are worthy of it. It’s shocking to me how many contractors expect to be treated like crap, so they just accept it as a part of “being in construction.” I can’t stress enough that if you don’t believe you are great, then no one will act like you’re great. If you don’t see all the value you are providing, then clients will take advantage of you. It’s that simple. So, before you can ever do anything externally to be treated like a partner, internally you need to know your worth.
    By the way, the best way to know your worth? Be better than your competition! Execute relentlessly. Expect excellence from yourself and your team. Go be better, recognize it in yourself, then use the rest of this newsletter to establish yourself with your clients.
  • Set expectations. You must set an expectation with your clients that you expect to be treated like a partner and that you will treat them the same. Clients often think – based on their thousands of past experiences with other contractors – that because they hired you, they are in charge. You have to help them break this mindset. You need to teach them to treat you like a partner. You do this by being firm and direct when you recognize they are falling into that mindset.
    “I understand how your experiences with other contractors may make you feel this way, but we are not like other contractors. We are going to be honest, do everything we can to make this a great job, and be a fantastic partner for you on this project. In order to be successful in doing that, can you be honest, fair, and treat us like a partner in return? If you do, I promise our relationship will be significantly better than most other contractors you’ve ever dealt with.”
    It’s hard to say no to that.
  • Stand up for yourself. Whether it is during the bid phase, during project kick-off, or the first time you experience a problem, a critical moment will occur: someone – whether you or the client – will make a mistake.
    It’s easy to be a partner when things are good but much more difficult once there’s a problem. If your client makes the mistake, make sure to treat them kindly and fairly, and to ask that they treat you the same when you undoubtedly make a mistake!
    If it’s your mistake, then listen and take your licks, but then stand up for yourself by setting an expectation that anger, screaming, or threats don’t let you operate at your best or be a partner to them. As a partner, you will admit and fix your mistakes, but you need them to trust you when you do. It doesn’t mean you expect there to be no conflict or repercussions, but it does mean that you won’t accept being treated like an enemy, because ultimately it will negatively impact the project!
    Yes, they hired you, and yes, they are your client, but that doesn’t mean they get to boss you around. They hired you to do a job – and they need to let you do it! So, make sure you stand up for yourself so you can do just that.

Is this the battle? Or the war? One final thought: As you are standing up for yourself – especially after making a mistake – you should ask yourself: Is this the battle? Or the war? You should want to win the war: make money on the project, finish on time, build relationships so you can work together in the future. Sometimes, to win this war, you need to lose some battles.

So, don’t be afraid to say:

  • “Yes, we screwed up.”
  • “I see where we could have done better.”
  • “You’re right, we need to be better.”

Because it may lose you the battle, but it should put you in a position to win the war. 

Matt Verderamo, MS is a consultant at Well Built Construction Consulting. Connect with him on LinkedIn.

About Zweig Group

Zweig Group, a four-time Inc. 500/5000 honoree, is the premiere authority in AEC management consulting, the go-to source for industry research, and the leading provider of customized learning and training. Zweig Group specializes in four core consulting areas: Talent, Performance, Growth, and Transition, including innovative solutions in mergers and acquisitions, strategic planning, financial management, ownership transition, executive search, business development, valuation, and more. Zweig Group exists to help AEC firms succeed in a competitive marketplace. The firm has offices in Dallas and Fayetteville, Arkansas.