The ability to maintain long-term relationships, both personal and professional, is one of the keys to business success.
One of the keys to any success I have had over the years has been that I have been pretty good at maintaining long-term relationships. For example, I still know and communicate periodically with the couple who owned the first bike shop I started working in at age 12 or 13, and with some of the earliest clients I had in the architecture and engineering business going back to 1980. But it dawned on me this morning that I have gotten so busy and so overcommitted that I simply cannot keep up with all of the relationships I have as well as I would like to. I just don’t have the time to do it!
My relationship order of priority is family members first, then work, and then students. Friends, potential friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and people I may want to do business with at some point are suffering as a result. That makes me feel guilty and I don’t like it.
I got a call this weekend from an 85-year-old rabbi/entrepreneur friend of mine whom I haven’t spoken with in months. He and his wife have been having a variety of health and financial problems and even though I have thought about him, I didn’t check up on him (a fact he reminded me of!). The truth is that thanks to the invention of the smart phone, it is easier than ever to send a quick text or email to check up on someone even if you don’t have time to pick up the phone and call them. But he doesn’t text and doesn’t do email. And I realized that the only reason I am so delinquent in checking up on him is because of that. I still felt guilty, though.
So what is the answer to my relationship maintenance “opportunity?” I’m not sure. I am keeping up with my family, work, and students pretty well. And while I do feel pretty good about my order of priorities, I would like to do better with the people who don’t fit into one of those three groups. I think the answer probably needs to be in scheduling – making a better use of my calendar and phone than I am now. It would probably be smart to plug 20-30 minutes into my calendar every day for outreach efforts to those who unfortunately (for me) fall into this “second tier” group. The other thing I can do is have more breakfast meetings with local folks than I am having now. It will force an old guy like me to get cleaned up and out of the house early, and it’s a meal time that isn’t already completely booked. I have to do better.
Not every relationship you have should be one that benefits you in some way. I don’t want to be one of those people that you only hear from when I want something from you! I can’t stand that and it just isn’t a quality or characteristic I aspire to be known for. Sometimes you will give more than you get. That’s OK, and part of the human experience. And besides that, who doesn’t want to be loved? But the fact is, you never know where those relationships will lead you. Sometimes they can be life-changing.
How about you? What are you doing to keep up with your long-term relationships?
Mark Zweig is Zweig Group’s chairman and founder. Contact him at mzweig@zweiggroup.com.