Letting go of control helps new leaders build stronger teams, reduce bottlenecks, and create more room for growth.
After 14 years in proposal management, I recently stepped into a regional role managing proposal managers – my first true people leadership position. In my first year, I learned a lot of lessons. Quickly.
But one pattern stood out more than any other: the hardest part of the transition wasn’t managing people – it was giving up control.
For years, I led proposals from start to finish. I collaborated closely with business development leaders, technical staff, and SMEs, but ultimately, I owned the deliverable. I drove the schedule. I trusted the process because I was in the driver’s seat – and I wasn’t going to let it fail.
Like many specialists, I took great pride in how I managed the proposal lifecycle. How was I supposed to let that go?
Suddenly, I was leading a team of eight to 10 proposal managers, each managing multiple pursuits. I was responsible for far more – but controlling far less. While I still aimed to touch every proposal that went out the door – reviewing, supporting, and providing feedback as much as possible – the volume of proposals ensured that a lot of what was done was out of my control.
The leadership shift from doing to managing
I had to shift. I had to get out of my own way.
Letting go of control wasn’t easy – but once I did, it fundamentally changed how I led.
It opened up new possibilities. I began to trust my team more fully, and I saw firsthand that there are many ways to achieve the same outcome – often just as effectively, and sometimes better.
How did I do it?
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Adopting a macro-level perspective. At the regional level, dozens of proposals move through the pipeline each month. Success isn’t defined by perfection in every detail – it’s defined by consistency, compliance, and client focus.
Not every proposal needs to be executed exactly how I would do it.
Not every pursuit is a must-win.
Not every effort warrants the same level of resources.
Recognizing this helped me prioritize what truly mattered – and let go of what didn’t. -
Valuing different ways of working. I knew I was a strong proposal manager. But I had to accept something equally important: I’m surrounded by other strong proposal managers.
Instead of asking, “How would I have done this?” I began asking, “Why did they approach it this way – and did it achieve the goal?” More often than not, it did.
Different perspectives led to different workflows – and in many cases, stronger deliverables. I wasn’t losing control; I was gaining insight and learning from my team. -
Delegate, delegate, delegate. Delegation was the biggest – and hardest – shift. Initially, I worried that delegating might make me appear less capable, or that I was simply offloading work. In reality, the opposite was happening.
Holding onto everything wasn’t helping anyone. It was limiting my effectiveness and preventing my team from growing.
When I began to delegate more intentionally, something changed. My team didn’t question my leadership – they appreciated the opportunity to expand their skills, take ownership, and step into leadership themselves. We got better, together.
Why high performers often resist shared ownership
What made this lesson more compelling – and worth writing about – is that I began to see the same struggle reflected in my highest performers.
Whenever I introduced more collaboration, assigned support roles, or encouraged team-based execution, there was hesitation. Not resistance – but discomfort.
They weren’t necessarily meaning to distrust their peers, they were just very used to owning everything. Letting go – even partially – creates uncertainty.
But that mindset becomes a barrier.
I saw team members working longer hours than necessary, overextending themselves, and holding onto tasks they didn’t need to own. Not because they wanted to – but because it felt safer.
Because the work was their responsibility. Their standard. Their “baby.”
What could I do to pass on what I’d learned?
I focused on creating visibility, collaboration, and shared ownership by:
- Encouraging team members to tag-team proposals rather than work in silos. There was no reason for us to go it alone.
- Sharing examples of strong work – cover letters, graphics, and strategies – to highlight different approaches and skill sets.
- Increasing transparency in communication, allowing team members to learn from one another’s interactions and workflows, and even attend one another’s meetings.
- Emphasizing individual strengths – whether in content development, coordination, graphics, or QA/QC – to reinforce that no one has to do everything well.
Most importantly, I modeled delegation myself.
Over time, the shift became visible: more collaboration, more confidence, and less unnecessary strain.
What happens when leaders hold on too tightly
This isn’t just a proposal management issue – or even a management issue. It’s a pattern.
High-performing individuals are often the ones most likely to get in their own way. The very traits that drive their success – ownership, accountability, precision – can also limit their growth if they don’t evolve. Holding onto control creates bottlenecks, slows decision-making, and restricts team development.
At some point, success is no longer about doing the work – it’s about enabling others to do it.
Everyone wins when we loosen our grip.
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Mercedez Thompson, MA, CP APMP, Shipley BDC, is the regional proposal manager, Northeast at Michael Baker International. Connect with her on LinkedIn. |
